


TG: but oh little dude youre not going to believe this

by kii_babe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F slur, M/M, Pesterlog thing, i just wanted to write a Dave Rant™, not really a full work, this is basically like a fragment fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 07:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kii_babe/pseuds/kii_babe
Summary: TG: i have some news thats going to blow your god damned mind more than warm piss apple juice ever will





	TG: but oh little dude youre not going to believe this

**Author's Note:**

> This is old and wholly unfinished, with no beginning to be seen-- but I still felt it was appropriate to post it here.
> 
> Enjoy!

TG: yo listen ok listen 

TG: if i can confidently say the words "jack shit about shit dick" with a straight face 

TG: you should be able to say anything to me 

TG: i wont even flinch I promise you this 

TG: the strider stoicism is still titanium when i want it to be 

TG: which is considerably less often than the loser i used to be when i thought emotions were some kind of weakness for only the girliest of individuals 

TG: like no no boys cant cry unless they shave their legs and like pink 

TG: and also are gay 

TG: and i dumb stupid thirteen year old dave strider am definitely not gay 

TG: but oh little dude youre not going to fucking believe this 

TG: i have some news thats going to blow your god damned mind more than warm piss apple juice ever will 

TG: i would literally travel back just to rub in my own face how homosexual he is 

TG: and totally school him by having more than one facial expression 

TG: and internal security 

TG: and stupid asshole teen dave would probably call me a fag to my face as if im not literally him 

TG: masculinity is a fucking prison you little prick 

TG: emotional constipation isnt cute 

TG: re the fuck lax and enjoy some dick then maybe you wont be such a little bitch 

TG: except dont because youre a kid 

TG: but sit back and accept the fact you just end up having an alien boyfriend and will eventually enjoy dick 

TG: anyways where was i going with this 

CG: WAIT, YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THAT AT ONE POINT? 

CG: I STARTED TUNING YOU OUT AFTER I HEARD THE WORDS "WARM PISS APPLE JUICE"


End file.
